As promised in my Scope Creep entry from last month, here is the continuation…

Chuck’s old PC, which I built for him at Christmas 2004, is all ready to donate. I wiped the hard drives, removed his old almost-10-years-old-now 12 Gb hard drive and put it in my e-waste box, left the new-in-2004 80 Gb one, reinstalled and patched XP.

Some of the parts (like the old HD) are the ones I had removed from the Dell PC he bought in January 1999 - the DVD drive, the AGP video card, the floppy drive (!). Probably because the parts are older, when I installed Windows, it had drivers for every piece of hardware - even the Linksys ethernet card. It was the easiest Windows install I’ve ever done. I’m always surprised when anything Windows-related goes seamlessly. This is the disadvantage of licensing an operating system to work with hardware from a zillion different vendors.

I went to our storage locker to get his old keyboard and mouse, and as I expected returned with another big box of cables, parts and cords. Again, I organized or disposed of everything.

It turned out that the storage box also had the keyboard from my original Dell PC,* purchased in 1997, as well as Chuck’s. And you know what? The old keyboards are amazingly solid pieces of equipment. No cheap pieces of plastic here - this office equipment was built to last.

Chuck’s keyboard, almost 10 years old now, was filthy. On Saturday, I decided to clean it and as I did so realized how far I’ve come since his death. It was full of his hair, flakes of his skin, crumbs and years of caked-on body oils and food. Two years ago this would have paralyzed me.

As I ran q-tips soaked with rubbing alcohol between the keys, I realized I had cleaned it for him once before. When I upgraded the OS of his original PC from Windows 98 to XP in 2002, I gave the box a full servicing and blew all of the dust out of it (you do this to yours from time to time, right?). I also thought about the messages that keyboard had passed out to the world. Some of them were to me (some of those I still have), but most I can only guess at. Chuck, like many people in his situation, was unfocused and wasted too much time online. I don’t need to say more than that.

Years of hair, skin cells and food.

It (above) is still one of the nicest basic keyboards I’ve seen and it’s split, which I seem to need, so I’ve decided to keep it. But if those keys could talk…

* I still have the original Windows 95 CD! Just for fun I installed it in a virtual machine. I’d forgotten how primitive it was. Windows 98 really was a big leap forward.

Most people seem to think of animals as organic machines. As if they are tools or production equipment that can be abused for our benefit and discarded at will. I find it appalling, and yes, I do lose sleep over it.

China has dominated the news lately for many reasons, but one thing that has received scant coverage is its abuse of animals. It’s not a secret, in fact many laboratories that perform animal testing have relocated to China so they aren’t pestered by animal cruelty laws in America, as anemic as they are, or elsewhere. But it doesn’t end with animal testing.

China is one of the world’s largest suppliers of animal fur. According to PETA’s web site, more than 95 percent of China’s finished fur garments are exported for sale overseas, much of it to North America.

The video footage from PETA’s undercover investigations on Chinese fur farms have revealed that dogs—including German shepherds and golden retrievers—and defenseless tabby and Siamese cats were strung up by their legs or tails and skinned alive. Their fur is often labeled as “Asian jackal,” “rabbit,” or “raccoon” fur and sold to unwitting consumers around the world.

If someone feels uncomfortable wearing the skin of a kitten or a puppy, they should certainly be uncomfortable wearing the skins of rabbits, raccoons, and other animals.

PETA’s undercover video footage reveals that the suffering of dogs, cats, and other animals in China’s fur industry is extreme. After spending their lives crammed together in filthy, homemade wire-mesh cages, they are thrown onto trucks and bludgeoned, poisoned, electrocuted, or even boiled alive before their skin is ripped off their bodies. Some animals in the video footage are still conscious and look up at the camera while they are skinned.

It is a big industry involving millions of animals, but there is something we can do about it:

1) Forward the shocking undercover video to as many friends as you can before the Olympic Games end on August 24th. PETA’s goal is to expose the horror of the Chinese fur industry to 1 million viewers before the closing ceremonies.

2) Make an urgent online donation right now. Your gift today can help PETA do even more in the coming weeks to end the torture and killing of dogs, cats, and other animals for their skin in China and around the world.

On my flight to Spain in April, I sat next to a man from Texas who is in the agriculture industry. He and several colleagues were on a trip to Europe to observe the practices of European farms. The subject of China came up and he told me that they had been there as well.

Many people consider American feedlot and slaughterhouses to be barbaric. This man and his group were very familiar with our beef industry and some had even worked in slaughterhouses. He told me that what they saw in China made them “turn white.”

In China, they don’t kill cows before they butcher them. As he described to me, they ram a screwdriver or similar object into the animal’s spine in the neck to paralyze it, then the hang it upside down to begin the butchering process while it is still alive. He said it made him sick.

Humans will always find ways to justify the use of animals, right or wrong, but is it too much to ask to raise and kill them humanely? Is it? But we treat each other like crap, so I guess it is too much to ask.

Kind of ironic that we are the most barbaric and destructive species on the planet, don’t you think?

It seems like at any given time, the government of one country or another feels the need to be the supreme asshole of the planet. During the nightmare of the Bush administration, it has frequently been us. At other times it has been China. Sometimes it’s Israel, sometimes North Korea, sometimes Iran. Sudan. Egypt. Saudi Arabia. Whatever. In the past week, Russia has claimed the title. Twice. Not only has it invaded Georgia to “prevent genocide,” it has also threatened Poland because of its agreement to install an American missile defense system.

Although I doubt the usefulness and reasoning behind our government’s pushing military hardware in eastern Europe (in fact, I think it’s a bad idea), Russia’s reaction - that it could attack Poland because of the installation of a defense system - is patently absurd.

“Poland, in deploying [elements of the system] opens itself to a military strike,” Col-General Anatoliy Nogovitsyn of Russia said. “That is 100 percent.”

Right. We are going to attack you because you are party to a defense system. Am I missing something here? I can think of more effective and accurate ways to protest that agreement.

However, Russia is not the first country to threaten another nation for dubious reasons. I seem to recall the Bush administration’s marketing campaign of trumped up reasons to justify our invasion of Iraq five years ago. Ironically, many of the same people that are outraged over Russia’s invasion of Georgia are the same ones who supported our invasion of Iraq. Funny how that works.

Meanwhile, Bush demonstrates his unusually high aptitude for cognitive dissonance by proclaiming that “the world has watched with alarm as Russia invaded a sovereign … state” and accusing Moscow of “bullying and intimidation.”

The pot calling the kettle black. What a moron. I wish the Democrats had the backbone to impeach that asshole. Useless pussies.

Governments are like people. Most of them are stupid, biased, posturing jerks who conduct themselves based on emotion and fantasy rather than reason and evidence.

Much of western Europe, Canada and a few other countries seem to do pretty well though, so I guess there is hope.

I started to call this entry “Six weeks” because last Friday completed my sixth week of working out again (don’t worry, the novelty has worn off so I’ll stop counting now). But let’s just call a spade a spade. These are vanity shots I took yesterday.

The photo taking actually started out with me wanting to get a shot with the new glasses that I could show you (so, here it is.) Then I got a little carried away.

In order to distract you from the gray hair on my temples, beard and chest, I’ll describe the room I’m in. We turned the little loft area overlooking our little living room into our office. It works pretty well, except on sunny mornings when it feels like an oven. That’s Fuad’s chair and desk behind me. I just noticed that Lucy is curled up in the seat of his chair at lower right. You can barely make out some of the spots in her coat.

We both need new office chairs. Badly. I guess I’ll put them in next year’s budget.

Moby called me a show-off on my flickr page. As if the poster child for exhibitionism has room to talk. Yeah, sweetie, so what? ;-) After a 9 month absence, I’m thrilled to be back at the gym and see my wee lumps growing back. Flexing my biceps like this still hurts my elbows, so it will be awhile before I try this again. My arms are rather lame anyway. You should see Fuad do this. O.M.G.

This is my favorite one. My beard looks neat despite the fact that I haven’t trimmed it in weeks, and part of my back tattoo is visible. The fact that this shot makes my arm look bigger than it is has nothing to do with it being my fave.

When I discovered I really could work out my upper body again, I kept going night after night after night. Even with light weights, it’s probably not a good idea. So, I’m forcing myself to take a night off every now and then (like tonight). I do push the envelope when I’m there, but I know when to stop. Promise.

Meanwhile, on the other end of our flat, I took these in order to demonstrate that I do, in fact, have feet, although I cropped them off on this one. Not sure why. Maybe my webbed toes were too obvious. I also apparently have a big beard. I’m not sure when that happened but I kinda like it.

The camera is a Canon G9. Chuck F gave it to me for Christmas. It’s great except that the LCD doesn’t pivot like it does on his G2.

Ah, here are the feet. Size 11. I’m 6′ 2″ unless I’ve started shrinking. When does that start?

No, I don’t have webbed toes. But I do have a farmer’s tan, courtesy of the outdoor memorial service I went to a few weeks ago. My lower legs are so white they almost look blue. I tried tanning in the summer of 2003, but it just made me red and aged my skin. That was enough of that. I’d rather be pasty white.

OK, I’m rambling so I’ll stop now. Fuad has been watching team USA play soccer. I’m off to join him. I think I remember where the TV is…

Last week, I asked you if you believed in God and asked you to choose from five possible answers. There were 41 responses, which are as follows:

Yes, no question about it: 10 Votes
How do you define God?: 10 Votes
Don’t know (I’m agnostic): 9 Votes
No (I’m an atheist): 9 Votes
I think so: 3 Votes

This is not a scientific survey, of course. It was self-selecting and uncontrolled. But I find the results to be pretty interesting. Specifically, I am surprised that so many people chose “How do you define God?” and “No.”

This is a complex and often polarizing topic; one that many books have and will be written about. Here, as I mentioned last week, I invite you to share your thoughts about your response. For the purposes of this entry, there are no right or wrong answers. The thoughts of others are not open for discussion. This is a survey, not a debate.

Let me clarify: you may not comment on anyone else’s comments, except mine. Speaking of which, this is why I am agnostic…

The short answer: lack of objective, independently verifiable evidence.

The medium-length answer: having faith in a supreme being is something humans have done since they first tried to figure out how and why things happened. The natural world was mysterious and events appeared to be arbitrary, so they invented gods to explain the unexplainable.

When good things happened, such as a loved one’s recovery from illness or a good harvest, it was the will of the gods. When bad things happened like an earthquake or invasion, it was the will of the gods. Insufficient sacrifice or faith on the part of humans was the usual explanation for Bad Things.

People still do this today. Good things are blessings from God. Bad things are punishment from God. Make a mental tic mark when you witness someone doing this. It happens all the time. We sound exactly like some primitive from thousands of years ago.

In modern cultures, people believe in a supreme being because they are taught to. You don’t have to look any further than the fact that the vast majority of believers follow the faith they were programmed with as a child to see this. Sometimes they are indoctrinated later, or switch religions for various reasons (I did this once), but usually they are just following in the footsteps of their parents.

People hold to a faith for good reasons. Security is a big one. We live in a big, scary world and then we die (this should make us value each others’ lives far more than we evidently do.) I believe faith has value for many people, but I won’t bore you with why I think this. Religion just doesn’t work for me. The number and variety of faiths doesn’t help.

Usually, there is no compelling reason for people to question the faith they’ve been taught, but sometimes there is. For me, it was being gay. Christianity’s approach to homosexuality was the first nail in its own coffin. It was self-evident to the homosexually-oriented person (me) that homophobia was wrong. So, I began asking questions.

If you critically approach a religion, you will often find that it is full of holes.* This does not necessarily make the religion a bad thing, but it does render it an imperfect interpretation at best. Some religions, particularly the fundamentalist flavors, discourage or even forbid questioning. This should make anyone very suspicious. If your religion is so great, shouldn’t it be able to withstand even the most rigorous critical scrutiny? What are you afraid of?

Back to the homosexuality issue. The condemning religions know nothing about it, but followers act as if their holy book is the ultimate source of truth. One thing about human behavior that is interesting is that people force opinions about topics they know nothing about onto others.

Are the people that claim homosexuality is wrong / chosen / whatever experts on genetics, biology, or human sexuality or behavior? No, but they still think it is a sin or a choice. Why?

Did the church have experts on orbital mechanics or astronomy when it condemned Galileo? No. So why did they? [1]

Was the Bible or Qur’an written by experts on genetics and biology? No, but some followers still insist, completely without basis and sometimes violently, that evolution is a “theory” or even evil. Why?

Why do people willingly hold things with zero supporting evidence above things with mountains of consistent, repeatably testable evidence? How can they be so completely deluded?

I probably sound like an atheist, but I’m not. While I do believe that today’s religions, as practiced, are modern mythologies, I can’t deny the existence of a supreme being. The first reason is that there are two items that have not been explained to my satisfaction:

1. What caused / came before the Big Bang?

2. How did life begin?

Other things, including evolution,** have been clearly and unambiguously explained or at least have testable theories that are continually improved and refined. But these two questions persist. Perhaps in time, quantum physics will reveal the answer to the first question, but I won’t pretend to know enough about quantum physics to do more than speculate on this. The second question, however, could conceivably be explained, but so far it has not (that I know of).

The second reason is that one can’t prove the non-existence of a supreme being. Of course, proving a negative is a logically challenging goal, but if you can’t prove something, you probably shouldn’t be forcing it on anyone else.

I know most people will disagree with me about the existence of a supreme being. The believers will have all kinds of learned arguments in favor of God, but they still can’t prove it. The atheists will have all kinds of logical arguments against the existence of God, but they can’t prove that either. Either position, ironically, is a matter of faith.

As Chuck F. commented to me a few months ago when we were discussing this very topic, it all boils down to one thing: you either believe or you don’t.

The long answer: how much time to you have? :-)

* For modern Christianity’s holes, you should read “Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why” by Bart D. Ehrman, a world-class Biblical scholar. It doesn’t invalidate Christianity (except the fundamentalist versions), but it does place it in a larger (and fascinating) historical perspective. It’s also an easy to read, eye-opening and well-documented book.

** One book that definitively slams the door on Creationist fantasy is “The Making of the Fittest: DNA and the Ultimate Forensic Record of Evolution” by Sean B. Carroll. He is another writer with an easy-going style.

[1] “Galileo’s presentation of heliocentrism as proven fact resulted in the Catholic Church’s prohibiting its advocacy as empirically proven fact, because it was not empirically proven at the time and was contrary to the literal meaning of Scripture. Galileo was eventually forced to recant his heliocentrism and spent the last years of his life under house arrest on orders of the Inquisition.” - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galileo_Galilei

Does this sound familiar?

On a related note, I’m about to read a book arguing for the existence of God. I may share my thoughts about it in the future.

I recently began reading a short stack of books arguing for and against the existence of God / a supreme being / whatever. When I’m done, I’ll list them for the curious. The primary motivation for this, other than an interest in how people argue for and defend their views, is to do research for the sequel to my fictional journal.

I’ve decided to write it as a traditional book since the fictional journal format has been such a flop (both for me as a writer and the reader). Anyway, one of the major themes of the book will be a debate about the existence of a supreme being. Let me tell you - I am REALLY looking forward to wrapping up the current story and getting to work on the sequel. The ensuing fireworks should be fun.

Someone made a comment to me yesterday regarding how gays often seemed to be atheists. Are gays and lesbians more likely to be atheists? I have my own theory about this, but I honestly can’t say one way or the other. I am not aware of any studies seeking the answer to this question, nor have I looked for any. But as I began thinking about it, I realized I knew plenty of gay believers. In fact, last month I was having a telephone conversation with a gay friend of mine about the anti-gay marriage initiative on the ballot…

“I asked Fuad to marry me before the Christians steal the ability away,” I told him.

“I’m a Christian,” he said, somewhat indignantly. I knew this already. He goes to church regularly and seriously, but I’d never given it any thought. It’s just something he does.

“You know who I mean,” I replied. That is what I said. What I privately thought was why? It’s a silly question really. The reason he is a Christian is that he was taught to be one and it works for him.

So, on to the poll question: do you believe in God?

I’ll go first: I am agnostic.

How about you? You can select an answer in the sidebar at right.

I’ve disabled the comments for this entry. Not because I don’t want comments, but because I want you to think about it for a while before you do comment. In a week or so, after I close the poll, I’ll post an entry to explain (briefly) why I’m agnostic. In the comment section of that entry, I will welcome your thoughts about your response to the poll.

So far, so good.

Yesterday, after finishing with the one biceps exercise I can do at this time, I went upstairs to join Chuck F. for the one triceps exercise I can do at this time. “I did two sets of hammer curls with 30-pound dumbbells,” I told him. “No discomfort at all.”

He thought for a minute. “That’s more than you’ve been able to do pain-free since the original injury.”

Somewhat to my astonishment, I realized that he was correct. I haven’t been able to work out biceps or back, pain-free and properly, in over two years.

Back in the day (ok, it was “only” six years ago), my back was pretty wide and strong. When I look at it in the mirror now, it ain’t. Of course, I’m also 15 pounds lighter now than in this photograph.

This evening, I went to the gym and did a few chest and back exercises. The pressing exercises are coming along well. I managed a new post-rehab max set of flat free-weight bench presses with 175 pounds. It wasn’t easy - it’s been ten months since I pushed any real weight - but there was no discomfort at all. No twinge, no pain, nada. The key is to use a stronger than needed grip to stabilize the joint, move in a limited range with proper form, and I’m fine. I suspect it will be several more months before I’m back up to 275 though.*

More mind, less macho.

But the best back-at-the-gym news of the week is that I can do lat pull-downs again. I tried them today for the first time since last October. 60 pounds - fine. 80 pounds - fine. 100, very carefully, very controlled - fine. I stopped at 120, not wanting to push my luck. Well, that and it started to get difficult. I suspect it will be a year or so before I’m back up to 240 pounds on the pull-down, but I can do it. I’m moving in a limited range, but I can do it.

The improvement I’ve noticed over the past five weeks has been remarkable. It’s almost as if working out again is helping my elbows work out again.

Three cheers for physical therapy!

* I’ve always had a relatively strong chest and back. My chest was even stronger than Chuck’s, though he could blow me away on every other body part, especially arms and legs. My arms have always been long and lean and always will. As Fuad says, “it’s a body-type thing.”

But as I’ve learned over the past 10 months, what matters about my arms is not how bulky or thick they are, it’s how functional they are. Can I do everything I used to without pain? Not yet, but getting there.

It is a huge relief.

There’s a concept in system design called scope creep. It basically refers to the addition of new features or functions once the development phase has begun (the scope gets larger and larger). Unchecked, scope creep can get wildly expensive because time is money.

You may recall that a month or so ago I built a new PC. Well, that little project has encountered some scope creep of its own. It has mushroomed into several tangential projects that I’m still trying to wrap up. Even once the PC was finished, there was still the matter of:

- the disposition of the old PC, which meant
- nuking the hard drive, which meant
- finding the software to do it.

And of course, once that was done, I needed to:

- reinstall Windows XP Pro on it, which meant
- finding the install disc, which meant
- going to our storage unit after work one day and digging through a few boxes of old hardware, software and devices (including Chuck’s old PC), which meant
- I brought it all home, which meant
- I had to dispose of it somehow before the husband got too annoyed.

Disc found and Windows installed meant:

- fully patching it, which meant
- downloading and installing SP3, WMP 11, IE 7, blah blah blah and
- installing all the basic software that the next user may need

because I’m such a nice guy and think this kind of thing is fun, which means:

- I’m kind of a geek.

Meanwhile, I had two boxes of cables and drives and routers and various devices including a KVM switch that I didn’t even remember having. This required:

- posting things on craigslist to get rid of them, which meant
- dealing with potential takers, which meant
- much extraneous e-mailing.

This left me with stuff that really isn’t even give-away-able like:
- 8 power cords and
- 12 monitor cables (DVI and VGA) and
- several USB and Firewire cables and
- a ton of audio cables that will never be used.

But I dutifully consolidated and organized what I’m going to keep or donate, then trashed or set aside for proper e-waste disposal the rest. The two large boxes have been reduced to one small box that I’ve put in the laundry room along with Chuck’s old PC. The husband is happy that the mass of cables and technological debris is gone.

But I’m not done. You see, I have to get Chuck’s old PC ready to donate, which means:

- going back to the storage locker because I *just* remembered that his keyboard and mouse and related stuff is still there in yet another box, which means
- doing all of the above again.

Sigh.

To be continued…

My friend Gerard and I went to the de Young museum in Golden Gate Park this morning to see the Chihuly exhibit. He is visiting from Texas so I took the day off. The exhibit is sensational. Many pictures here>>

Sorry I haven’t posted anything lately or responded to e-mails in the past few weeks. I’ve been getting home very late and have too many side projects going on. I should be able to get through them all this weekend.

I’ve been back at the gym for three weeks now. Hopefully it will be for good this time and I won’t hurt myself and have to stop again. Nearly nine months away was too long.

I can’t believe it’s been so long. NINE MONTHS since I stopped working out and began physical therapy. This is what happens when you do stupid things and trash your ligaments, boys and girls.

So, yeah, I’m lifting again. I’m able to do (or approximate) most of the exercises I used to, though the arm and back movements I can do are very limited. On average, I’m probably lifting at 50% capacity. I plan to stick with this for a while and see how it goes. I find that as long as I keep a strong grip (to stabilize the joint) and stick to certain planes of motion, I’m OK.

Monday, I tried triceps kickbacks with too much weight and tweaked my right elbow. It’s a bit more tender than usual but otherwise no worse. I’d been using 15 or 20 pound dumbbells for this the previous two weeks, but ALL of the weights below 27.5 pounds were being used.* So, like a moron, I used the 27.5. The joint isn’t ready for that yet. Lesson learned.

In more interesting gym-related news, Chuck F. and I ran into a friend of Moby’s today, Adam. Adam is like, cute and humpy and nice and stuff, plus appears to have geek tendencies. You may know him already, but I didn’t. Anyway, I introduced myself and we had a short conversation. He and his partner Brad recently moved here from Texas (as I did, 13 years ago this weekend!).

Like Chuck F., he moved here from Dallas. Also like Chuck F., he was born in NYC. So, there seems to be this New York to Texas to California thing going on. In fact, I know several people that have followed that path. As for myself, I was just born here and came back 24 years later. I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Well, Spain, maybe. Or Vancouver.

A belated welcome to San Francisco, Adam and Brad! We’re happy that y’all are here.

* The gym I go to is often insanely crowded in the early evening. I’ve been entertaining the idea of joining a less popular gym. It’s not just the gym floor - the locker room is way too crowded too. I’ve whined about this before, so I won’t go into detail.

Will I do it? Probably not.